I Want You
by RavenWolf2089
Summary: This was written for SweetCaroline1986 because i think we can all agree that she is an awesome loyal reviewer! :D. Post-Regionals! :D


I Want You

Quinn was stressing him out again and to escape both his nagging mom and ex baby mama, who seemed to be under the impression that now that she didn't have the baby to hold over his head she could just revert to being a bitch and talking him to death, Puck had gone for a walk, leaving his truck and phone behind him.

_It's funny I thought Rach could talk people to death but fuck Quinn is a nagging bitch, Rachel talks about stuff she's interested in, not how much of a fuck up, and douche bag, and Lima Loser I am._ Puck thought as he kicked a stone down the sidewalk towards the park _I thought I loved Quinn, I thought I wanted her and Beth and a family, but how much of that is tied up in how I don't want my own family very much? Now all I want is my baby girl, and a girl I'm not even dating is fucking with my head even in my own home._

Rachel swung around on the twisted swing chain for the eighth time, her tip toes en Pointe to the ground she twisted the chain again and let herself swing straight again, her IPod buds in her ears were blaring every album of Nickelback in her ears, and her eyes were closed as she repeated the same move over and over again. The repetitive motion was somehow very soothing to the small brunette as her mind raced with a hundred thoughts, tumbling over each other and failing to form any coherency.

Her mind went in a constant circle from her fathers to her mother to Finn, Finn, it always came back to Finn, as a person she had known for only a year he had had too large an impact on the person she was today. She thought at Regional's that it was finally their time; Finn had admitted that he had slept with Santana, and she had got past it, only to walk on him and Santana at a party two days later. Not to mention her discussion with him about her mother had left her wishing for a more emotionally mature and intellectual person in her life, and once again he had hurt her, publically embarrassing her in front of the school.

_Why am I always the doormat? Why do I always get hurt? What do I do to deserve everyone hating me? I'm never anyone but myself, yes I could converse in a more relaxed manner and I could perhaps explain myself better when I criticise someone's singing, I'm not criticising them as a person. Why doesn't Shelby want me? My own fathers don't want me very much either, every time I have a problem they get my therapist, if I'm upset I get a glass of water, when do I get parents? When do I get a real family?_

Puck paused as he glanced over at the swings as he walked into the park, a familiar petite brunette figure was twisting around on the swing, as the swing would straighten out she would twist it again on the point of her toes, the white wires over her black sweater showed clearly she was listening to music and her eyes were squeezed tightly closed.

Taking the opportunity to gaze at her when no one was around to watch him, and therefore comment, Puck leant against the fence of the park and watched the girl he was scared to admit his feelings for aloud twist around and around on the chain. He had been there when Finn had fucked up again, for the latest time, and with Santana of all people, and watched as Rachel's face had fallen for a momentarily second, he was the only person who watched her enough to see it, if there was one thing Rachel didn't show it was vulnerability.

Moving forwards he lightly tugged the ear buds from her ears, smiling when she jumped up from the swing seat with a little scream.

"That's dangerous Berry" he admonished lightly "I could have been anyone"

"I guess I wasn't thinking clearly, sorry Noah" Rachel said with a small smile sitting back down on the swing as Puck took the one next to her.

"It's ok, just looking out for you seems to be a full time job" he laughed

"I suppose, how are you feeling Noah? In fact why are you currently here at the park in the first place? This is not your usual place of contemplation and escape"

"Had to get away from home, Quinn is like always there nagging at me to work more, that the bills still need to be paid for the hospital, and then she fucking reminds me about how shitty a dad I would have been, and then my mom compares me to my dad, and my sister hates me cos my mom is poisoning her head and I just can't be fucking bothered anymore"

"Oh Noah" Rachel said reaching for the hand clenched around the chain and lightly squeezing it, her own worries immediately forgotten as she worried about Noah.

"And I miss Beth, it's not fair for Quinn to keep hitting me around the head with how bad a dad I would have been, I love my daughter I want her so much, but I gave her away to someone who already gave away one daughter, how can I justify to myself being so selfish as to give away my own daughter?"

"You did the right thing Noah, it's not selfish it's the ultimate sacrifice, you gave away your daughter to give her the life you couldn't at this moment provide for her, what Quinn is doing wrong that I'm sure about, but what you did for Beth is not wrong"

"And what about who I gave it to? Can you really defend her?"

"Well how can when I don't know who it is?" Rachel asked confused, her confusion growing as Puck turned to face her dead on sharply "well I wasn't at the hospital because it was said that we couldn't all leave, and well Quinn doesn't exactly like me"

"Fuck!" Puck swore his eyes staring at the ceiling "Rach...your m...Shelby adopted Beth" he stammered.

Rachel's eyes fell closed again, this time in defeat as Puck watched her worriedly "Shelby will be a good mom to Beth" she said numbly before getting up and walking away from Puck towards her car, before he could react,

_Why was Rachel sitting out here all alone anyway? Why the fuck didn't anyone tell her that her mom adopted Beth and why does she have an obvious problem with it? Because you fucking dick head you just told her that her mom dint want her as a daughter but was happy to adopt another! Fuck!_

"Rachel!" he shouted getting to his own feet and running after her just as she was getting into her car "wait B...wait!"

"Noah I'm not in the mood, I apologise it was very rude of me to simply walk away and I shouldn't have an opinion, bad or otherwise on the person you gave Beth to, but I cannot help it, I wish I didn't have an opinion but I do" Rachel said not turning to face him, but looking over the roof of her car "Shelby, my mother decided she didn't want me, and I haven't seen my father's in three weeks, and every time I have a problem they make me talk to psychiatrist rather than simply talk to my family, and I cannot help but wonder what is wrong with me? Why don't people want me?" Tears running down her face silently now Rachel got into the car under the cover of Puck's shock and drove away quickly.

_I want you_

Rachel lay on her bed after a silent dinner on her own, even music had failed to sooth her wallowing, a perhaps unattractive activity but she knew that was what she was doing, so now she stared at her ceiling, her mind as jumbled as it was before, only to be disturbed by a light tapping on her bedroom window. Shooting upright Rachel flew to her window and jerked aside her curtains, as she suspected Puck was balancing on the small railing of her tiny balcony, shaking her head but no wanting to get him killed Rachel opened the window and moved back to her bed, rolling back into the messy covers, a small sign of defiance to her fathers who had always made her make her bed.

Frowning Puck followed her in and closed the window behind him, before following her over to the bed, for the first time realising she was already in her pyjamas, a pair of shorts and a baggy t-shirt, rolling over to the side, she pulled a corner of the blankets back for him, a clear invitation. Shucking off his clothes quickly, glad he had worn boxers today, Puck climbed into the free side of Rachel's bed pulling the duvet over himself and cuddling up to Rachel, his arms slipping under her neck and another around her waist, his head buried into the side of her neck.

"I want you" he whispered as Rachel turned the light off, feeling rather than seeing as she smiled and snuggled back into him further, and his arms tightened as they fell asleep. Rolling over much later, and cracking his eye at the clock he saw that it was nearing three o'clock in the morning, making sense of the now pitch dark he could see outside the un-curtained window, looking down he smiled, at some point in the last few hours they had changed position, him on his back with Rachel splayed across his bare chest, her hand in a faint claw clutching at his skin just over his heart.

"I want you too" Rachel whispered into the darkness, as a light sleeper she had felt beneath her cheek when Puck's breathing had changed from the slow steady breaths of sleep to awareness.

"Maybe all we need to fix ourselves is each other" Puck said to the darkness of the room "I know you are hurt, I am too, but when I'm with you I don't feel so alone, and not in the Hudson way of saying that, but in the way you're the only person who gets me"

"You're the only person I'm not lonely with; you're the only person I'm comfortable with, Noah you mean so much to me"

"I love you Rachel" Puck whispered into her hair, finding it easier to admit in the darkness "I want you to be here to help me get over Beth, and I want to be the person to help you deal with your parents that rival my dad for Shitty parent of the year award"

"I love you Noah" Rachel replied hugging him tighter, her hand clenching into more of a claw around his heart.

"That belongs to you" Noah whispered "it always has, ever since I saw you singing in temple when we were little, I knew you were it for me, everyone else are idiots gorgeous, because they don't realise how awesome they are, and it's their loss, because I'm not letting you go now"

Rachel smiled and took the hand that was resting on her lower back and pulled it up to her own heart "this is yours too, and I'm not letting you go this time either" she said pressing his hand to her hammering heart

"Sounds good to me"

"Just promise me something?" Rachel said finally looking up at him and smiling "let's not have a more relaxing junior year, no impregnation of cheerleaders, no pulling off Sectionals on the fly, or fights in the middle of the music room"

"I don't want any more cheerleaders, unless it's you in that uniform, and I can promise you that if you promise me there is no more Finn or Jessie"

"Promise"

"Then so do I" Puck smiled, lowering his head to press a kiss to her lips "only you Rach, I want you"


End file.
